If you’ve not read the first post of this mini series, then you probably should. It’s located HERE and is all about my views on starting and getting involved in drama.
Today, I’m sharing my experience with blogger drama. It’s not to spill the tea (most people probably remember this anyway lmao) but more to tell you how being involved in drama can really affect your mental health. This experience is a prime example of why you do not get involved where you’re not concerned.
And to some degree, I’m drawing a line under what happened for myself. I’ve never shared my side of the story but the other person involved has. I’m always painted as the bad person and while I probably shouldn’t care what people think, when you have anxiety it’s hard to not care. I hate the thought that there are people who avoid me and have a negative image of me when they don’t even know me.
Maybe this post is petty. Maybe me writing my experience to draw a line under what happened is stupid. But my main, overriding message is the effect blogging drama can have on someone’s mental health. And that getting involved with other people’s business is also not worth the trouble.
This post has no pictures because it’s not meant to be a light hearted post. It’s serious and the words in this post are all that matter. Some of my posts don’t have pictures and that’s perfectly fine by me. Most of the time, it’s because I just want you to focus on the words I’m writing.
This needs some context so let’s start from the beginning. I won’t name people so I’m going to give them different names.
I had a friend called, lets say, RACHEL. We occasionally DM’d on Twitter and spoke a little bit through tweets. When I called out a blogger (ANNA) for copying and pasting other people’s work, Rachel jumped in and condemned it too.
A blogger that I didn’t really know, ELOISE, replied to Rachel saying that she’d copied in the past too so couldn’t really make comments. Little did I know that these two had a history but being a ‘good friend’ I jumped to Rachel’s defence because that’s what a good friend does, right?
And so I immediately became hated for jumping to Rachel’s defence. I didn’t know why back then. I knew nothing about Rachel and what she’d done in the past.
Rachel started sending me screenshots of what Eloise was saying. It’s probably best to note that I’d just come out of an emotionally abusive friendship/relationship so was extremely vulnerable and in an awful place. I naturally reacted and slowly, the situation grew and grew until other people got involved.
It got messy.
I was in a group chat with Rachel and everything was about this situation. How toxic Eloise was and how Rachel wanted to go to the police but the Irish police couldn’t do anything because Eloise lives in the UK. I got told that Eloise apparently had Rachel’s address and could have mine so I got scared and offered to go to the UK police because of how bad things seemed to be.
So I went to the police. Twice, in fact. And each time, I think they wanted to laugh at me for how pathetic I sounded. But at the time, I was made to feel so scared that Eloise was out to hurt me. Someone had already threatened to contact my employer…
I started to withdraw from my blog and Twitter, suicidal. One time, Rachel did start to get worried I’d hurt myself and a few other bloggers were too. Any future times though? Nothing. If anything, all I got was drunk Snapchats when she knew I was in a bad place.
Having spoken with Eloise via email, she’d mentioned things to do with Rachel that I had no idea about. Things about trips to LA and Africa etc… And when I Googled Rachel’s blog, I found a whole wave of tweets, posts and more exposing her for scamming people out of money, lying about pregnancies and miscarriages and the (probably) hundreds of Twitter accounts she had.
It suddenly dawned on me that she wasn’t really a friend and that this friendship was not a very good one to be in. I was being used to get back at Eloise because I lived in the UK and therefore could report her and I was so vulnerable, I would have done anything.
I cut Rachel off, telling her I wanted nothing more to do with the drama between her and Eloise. And I got subtweeted. Things about how Rachel had been such a good friend and I’d thrown it back in her face. How she wanted to call the police when I disappeared and was suicidal but how could she? She’d already told me that she couldn’t talk to the UK police…
I tried to forget it and I still do try. But every so often, I get subtweeted. I get directly tweeted if I say something mildly controversial or something that could be about her. I have her blocked but it’s clear she’s still watching.
Now I’m in a better place mentally, I can see this for what it really was and I am ashamed. I really am. I got involved where I shouldn’t have. Even if it was to protect a ‘friend’. I became suicidal and self harmed over this experience because what was being said in this scenario was vile. I had people stalking my Facebook and spreading lies that I was making up my mental health issues for attention. This was entirely unnecessary.
What I want people to take from this post is that getting involved in other people’s drama is not worth it. Honestly. It makes everything 10x worse than it needs to be. And like me, people’s mental health can get really negatively impacted. I was taken to hospital TWICE by ambulance. Because I was considered a danger to myself because of what this situation did to me. Yes, it’s my own fault for getting involved but this is the affect of blogger drama when it kicks off and the affect of getting involved where you don’t need to.
As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve had to talk people out of self harm because people have gotten involved and made drama that has really upset someone.
This weekend especially, I’ve been ashamed to call myself a blogger. The community turned into one filled with hatred and negativity and it’s bought back memories of everything that happened to me.
People just need to stay out of drama and yes, a lot of what goes on is opinion based but when people start spreading posts or tweets of ‘spilling tea’ then it starts to look more like you’re picking on someone rather than stating opinion. Have you opinions and that’s fine but also be mindful of how you put things across or how other people may view this and share it.
We’re all guilty of saying things that can be misconstrued but causing drama out of it is totally unnecessary. Lets stop the negativity and start spreading love again.
Lots of Love,