I can’t say 2018 has been the best year of my life.
In fact, it’s probably up there in one of the worst years of my life.
That’s maybe an injustice- there have been a few good points but it’s been the most difficult year and I’ve gone it alone. However, through the struggles, I’ve learnt a lot about myself and the people around me. Some good things, some bad things.
This post isn’t going to be a long run down of my year and full of detail. It’s going to be brief, I’ll link posts that are relevant but I’m also only including what I want to include. I don’t really want to talk about my ex or my surgery. Those things are fairly irrelevant or not specific to 2018.
People who follow my Twitter have seen a more uncensored version of my year although only those in my immediate, offline life know the full story of everything that’s gone on this year. There are some things I really don’t think I’d be allowed to share (or feel comfortable sharing) with the world.
For the most part, 2018 has been the year of discovery and struggle with my mental health. It’s been the year I got my diagnosis of ADHD and although that’s definitely a positive, it’s come with it’s struggles and difficulties. Having a private diagnosis brings a whole host of problems that you never imagine until you are faced with the situation when you are dealing with it. And some of the issues I never imagined I’d have and I’ll be blunt, they screwed me up.
Life after my ADHD diagnosis was weird and that adjustment period when I started to accept my diagnosis and start treatment was difficult. Starting Concerta XL was challenging and bought health problems and mental health issues along with many trips to A&E.
2018 also saw me take nearly 6 weeks off work for my mental health and use that time to not only break down catastrophically, but also heal myself and make such amazing progress all on my own. It was something that I was incredibly proud of and had never thought possible. I undermined my own strength of character and have decided that I will not underestimate myself in 2019!
2018 will be remembered as the year everything fell into place in the most disjointed and weird way physically possible
I got my first full time job in early 2018, working as a Medical Laboratory Assistant in Histopathology at my local hospital! This is definitely the highlight of my year. I am doing a job that I love and enjoy plus I work with some pretty cool people which is a bonus. I fell into the job and worried that I wouldn’t be cut out for dealing with gross body stuff but it’s actually alright and I’ve not thrown up at work… yet!
2018 showed me who true friends were and I made new friends who I am so happy to have around. I’ve socialised more at work outings and met my blogging best friend Ellie this year too so in terms of my social life, it’s not been too bad.
I always went abroad for the first time on my own in 2018! I have been meaning to write a post on this but life hasn’t exactly been too great since I came back so that’ll be a project for the new year! But I went to Spain on my own and didn’t die. I am still alive and giving anxiety a nice big 2 fingers up because I survived being out on my own at night, trips to a local city and FLASH FLOODING. Yes, I got caught in flash flooding while out 1km from my apartment and waded barefoot through the flood water to safety… then proceeded to need a trip to the emergency room 3 hours later. This was definitely a pivotal event in 2018 that I wish I’d celebrated more afterwards. It was a HUGE achievement that I proved to so many people that I could do and that I was strong.
It’s definitely been a defining year. It’s shown me strengths and weaknesses I never knew I had so in some ways, I am so grateful for all that’s happened in 2018 – good or bad
This year has shown me so much. I’ve learned things about me that I never knew and from that I’ve grown and bettered myself. Going forward into 2019, I want to grow further and I want to achieve more sentimental success. I don’t want money or material gain from success – I want satisfaction of knowing that I’ve done something good for myself or other people.
There’s been times in 2018 that I just wanted to give up and I didn’t. I kept pushing, I kept going and yes my life still has a few major issues but overall I am so much more stable and so much happier compared to before. I am in no way better completely or healed but I am getting there slowly and with little baby steps.
To everyone reading this, next year doesn’t need to be ‘your best year yet!!’. It can be average. It can be crap. Don’t feel pressured to do everything amazing to try and beat 2018. Take life as it comes, day by day. Take baby steps if that’s what you need.
I wish everyone a very happy New Year and hope that you stay safe and rested. Take care of you!